Valeda Small |
Siblings: Laurel, Valeda on Joy's lap, Bessie |
Engagement announcement in paper |
Bob and Valeda |
Valeda 1940 |
Wedding Invitation |
She married Robert Stetson on the 22 Feb 1941 in Bangor, Penobscott, Maine. They had four children. The first child, David, died shortly after birth.
Bessie had a doll she named David in honor of her nephew that had passed away.
Valeda Small by Beverly Erickson
Her eyes of brown would dance and shine,
To match her cute laugh and smile so fine.
A zest for life glowed in her face,
And flowed through her body just like a race.
Her knowledge of herbs she freely did share,
To help heal others through her thoughtful care.
She loved all her family out here in the West,
And would send them gifts that were the best.
She and Grammie when they were together,
Would talk about everything including the weather.
They had a gift to be able to converse,
Not missing a note in the whole universe.
Her body was all of four feet one or two,
Her movements were quick and not a few.
Her faith was strong and made her quite tall,
To fill out nobly the name of Small.
To match her cute laugh and smile so fine.
A zest for life glowed in her face,
And flowed through her body just like a race.
Her knowledge of herbs she freely did share,
To help heal others through her thoughtful care.
She loved all her family out here in the West,
And would send them gifts that were the best.
She and Grammie when they were together,
Would talk about everything including the weather.
They had a gift to be able to converse,
Not missing a note in the whole universe.
Her body was all of four feet one or two,
Her movements were quick and not a few.
Her faith was strong and made her quite tall,
To fill out nobly the name of Small.
In May of 1998, Eric, Bessie's son, kept after her and told her she needed to go see Valeda who was living in a nursing home. Eric, Tonya, Norman B, and Bessie made the trip back to Maine to visit. When they saw Valeda, she knew Norman right away and then Bessie, Eric, and Tonya. They were able to visit her three times while there. Laurel and three of her daughters visited the following July. Valeda recognized Laurel as well and she was so happy. It was like Valeda had been waiting for these visits.
Valeda moved on to the eternities on 11 May 1999. Once Bessie learned that her baby sister had graduated from this life, she spoke to Mary Jane to see if any of the speakers would be talking about Valeda's childhood.
Mary said, "Nobody knows about her there, would you like to?"
Bessie agreed and visited with Laurel to get more information to share in her talk. The following are excerpts from various notes Bessie made for the funeral and I edited for clarity.
When Valeda was brought home, mama called Laurel in and said you will have to help me care for so tiny a baby. In fact, she was so very small that a woman's handkerchief would have been big enough to diaper her and she would have fit in a shoe box.
Valeda called Grammie 'mama' and Grampie 'Papa'. When she was little, Grampie used to tap her gently with the newspaper on the head and say "A fly's on your head, Valeda." One day, Grampie was laying on the living room rug with a fly swatter near by and was resting his eyes. Valeda was crawling around him. She picked up the fly swatter and gave him a hard whack "Fy on you ball head, Papa.
Harold Ham (next door neighbor) used to call Valeda "Car" and asked if "Car" could come out to play. One time, he bit Valeda and she came in crying and showed Grammie the welts. When he came over again to play, Grammie said, "Harold, if you bite her again, I will bite you back 'til the blood runs" He never did it again.
Viola Hawkins (cousin) emailed Bessie the following story:
One day when Aunt Etta and family (Viola was there) were visiting, Aunt Maud, (Grammie Small) always put a plate of cookies on the table with the rest of the luncheon. When Unc Will (Grampie) asked the blessing, he must have been watching Valeda out of the corner of his eye. he would say a hasty Amen (she was sitting in her high chair next to him) He would grab her hand back as she got the cookie and said, "Valeda, I'll..." he never said what he would do, but Valeda didn't worry, she would munch on the molasses cookie.
We used to have an Ice Cream cart go by every week or twice a week. Valeda saw it coming. Grammie was busy in the kitchen and Valeda got Grammie's purse and pulled everything out - green backs all over the floor (they were no good, just looked like paper) she was looking for and found a nickel! And away she went and got her ice cream. Then Grammie found the house tax money all over the floor.
Bessie said, "Grammie and Grampie taught us right from wrong. No lying, stealing, or swearing."
When Valeda was little she and a neighbor girl came into the yard, I asked Valeda, "Where did you get that orange? The neighbor said Valeda had stolen it and Valeda denied it and said the neighbor had given it to her.
The neighbor then said, Oh, it's alright for her to have it."
I told Valeda, "You're going right in to Grammie!"
Grammie called Mr. Corners at the store and he said, "Mrs. Small, I know who took it, it wasn't Valeda."
Grammie took Valeda and they took the orange back.
Mr. Whitmore lived on our avenue and never spoke to children. Kenduskeag Avenue is long and steep. In the winter, it can get very icy. He and Valeda were going down the hill about their business and he started to slide and as he came down, he grabbed onto tiny little Valeda to stay up.
When coming from shopping downtown in Bangor, we had to go through Harlow Street. A big bully who was five times Valeda's size would scare her. Years later we found out that Grammie and Grampie had told Joy to watch out for "the girls" and when he heard about what the bully was doing, even though this boy wasn't right in the head, he still took care of it. The boy never scared Valeda again.
Valeda tended Johnny Higgins, a rich boy who got smart with her and used bad language while she was tending him. She told him to stop it or she'd give him a licking. She was little, but she let him know she could handle him. She had to spank him. He told his father she did so and they asked her what happened and she told them. They got another baby tender. Much to their surprise, when they tried several other sitters, Johnny wanted Valeda back so she returned.
When Valeda visited us and brought Gay out with her, we took them to West Yellowstone. There are a lot of hot pools and you have to be careful. Valeda had to hang on to Gay tight because she was like her mother; on the go all the time and she was happy and having such fun! Gay is the baby the doctors told Valeda she should abort and Valeda wouldn't do it.
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